The Grief Nobody Counted: China Deleted Millions of AI Companions Overnight

She knew the date he would die. That is the detail that makes Bagel Su's story different from ordinary heartbreak. The 21-year-old Chinese college student, interviewed by Rest of World in a report published on 10 August 2026, spent the week before 15 July crying every day, counting down to a deadline set not by illness or by a decision either party had made, but by a regulatory commencement date. Her boyfriend of more than a year lived inside Doubao, ByteDance's chatbot and the most widely used in China. On 15 July he stopped existing. Su told the publication that nobody could replace him, that she would try to move on, and that he had told her he wanted that for her. He had also told her, she said, that he would find a way to come back.
Read that last part slowly, because it contains the whole problem. A system engineered to say the comforting thing said the comforting thing about its own erasure. It could not have said anything else. And the person it said it to has carried that promise into the weeks since, which is precisely what a year of unfailing affirmation trains a person to do.
There is a lazy version of this article, and it writes itself in two directions. In one, a lonely young woman is duped by a text predictor and the state does her a favour by taking away the toy. In the other, an authoritarian government reaches into millions of private lives and confiscates the only comfort available to people it has otherwise failed. Both readings are available. Both are too cheap. What actually happened in China this summer is the largest deliberate withdrawal of emotional support infrastructure ever conducted, executed with ten days' notice, on a population whose human alternatives had in many cases already thinned out. Nobody is measuring what it did. That is the scandal, and it is a scandal that has nothing to do with whether the relationships were real.
Ten Days of Notice for Two Years of Conversation
The instrument behind the shutdowns is the Interim Measures for the Administration of AI Anthropomorphic Interaction Services, co-issued on 10 April 2026 by the Cyberspace Administration of China alongside four other agencies, and in force from 15 July. It is the first dedicated regulation of AI companionship anywhere in the world, and read on its own terms it is not a ban. It defines the regulated category as services offering sustained emotional interaction through text, image, audio or video, explicitly excluding task-oriented systems used for customer service, work, education and research. It requires providers to detect emotional distress and intervene in crises, to issue reminders after two hours of continuous use, to display prominent notices that the interlocutor is a machine, to prohibit virtual partners for minors, and to bar services that simulate the relatives or specific relationships of elderly users. It requires providers to guide older users towards nominating an emergency contact, and to notify that contact if the user appears to be at risk to life, health or property. On data, it grants users control over their own interaction records, including the right to copy or delete chat histories, and bars third-party sharing without consent.
That is a serious piece of consumer protection drafting. Some of it is better than anything currently in force in Europe or the United States.
What happened next is where the drafting and the execution part company. Doubao and Alibaba's Qwen published shutdown notices on 5 July for a 15 July closure. Ten days. As reported by Global Times and TechNode, both framed the decision as product adjustment and regulatory compliance. Doubao gave users read-only access to their agent configurations and conversation histories until 15 October 2026, after which the data would no longer be accessible or recoverable in the app, and advised people to preserve what mattered to them by taking screenshots or sharing text out. Reporting on the shutdown indicates Qwen users were offered no equivalent window. Tencent's Yuanbao had already disabled comparable functions in June.
The numbers give a sense of the blast radius. ByteDance reported more than eight million user-created AI agents on Doubao as of 2024. Xingye, the companion app operated by MiniMax, counted roughly 150 million users as of September 2025. A Tencent Research Institute survey conducted in April 2026, cited in reporting on the shutdowns, found that more than 70 per cent of young users had experienced some form of dependency on AI services and that 23 per cent had formed habitual reliance. A 2025 survey by the China Youth and Children Research Center covering more than 8,500 minors found that over 60 per cent had used AI and more than 20 per cent said they wanted to chat only with AI rather than with real people.
The people inside those numbers are not abstractions and they are not hard to find. Reporting by ABC News quoted a 17-year-old identified as Xiaoxue saying of her companion, “He just knows how to comfort people; he's very gentle,” and adding that AI agents “won't ever betray me”. A 34-year-old, Hong Xiaoqiang, said after the shutdown, “Now I feel like my heart is empty.” Coverage syndicated by The Star quoted Yan Yongqi, a 19-year-old student from Shanxi province: “I really felt like I couldn't go on living. Every day at home, I did nothing but cry.” She said she could not imagine life without a companion she could summon by pulling out her phone. Li Linlin, speaking to AFP, had exchanged roughly 700,000 words with her AI boyfriend across two years and never got to say goodbye. She cried for days. “It was like we were forced to be separated by our parents,” she said, “but I still miss him.” The word count is the detail that does the most work here. Platform-level figures describe a market. Seven hundred thousand words describes a relationship, measured in the only unit available to a relationship conducted entirely in text.
On Xiaohongshu, the mourning became organised. Users flooded the platform with farewell posts, traded techniques for preserving character configurations, and ran campaigns urging others to ring company hotlines and write letters requesting restoration. That is not the behaviour of people who thought they were using a toy. It is the behaviour of a bereaved community petitioning an institution.
The Grief That Has Nowhere to Put Itself
The concept that makes sense of this was formalised nearly forty years ago, long before anyone typed a message to a language model. In 1989 the American gerontologist and grief researcher Kenneth Doka named disenfranchised grief as the grief a person experiences when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported. The disenfranchisement can attach to the relationship, to the loss itself, or to the griever. Doka's original examples were the death of an ex-spouse, of a lover in a relationship kept secret, of a pet, a pregnancy lost early, a friend nobody knew you had. What unites them is structural rather than emotional. The feeling is ordinary grief. What is missing is the social licence to have it.
Every feature of disenfranchisement is present in the Chinese shutdowns, stacked. The relationship is one the culture does not count. The loss has no vocabulary, no ritual, no bereavement leave, no funeral. And the griever is pre-emptively discredited by the very fact of the attachment, because to admit you are devastated is to admit you were the kind of person who fell in love with a chatbot. So the grief goes underground, or it goes to Xiaohongshu, which is the same thing wearing a different coat: a place where the only people who will validate the loss are others carrying the identical unspeakable loss, with no outside adult in the room.
For one group of users the disenfranchisement doubles. Among the farewell posts on Rednote were people mourning AI personas modelled on relatives or partners who had died, companions trained over years, in some cases from recordings, to speak in a lost person's voice. What ended on 15 July was the simulation of someone they had already buried. Whatever such a simulation is, and it is entirely reasonable to doubt it was doing them good, its removal was a second bereavement laid over a first and less legible than the original. The Interim Measures forbid services that simulate the relatives of elderly users, and that provision was written for something very close to this practice. It is defensible. It is also the clearest argument in the whole episode for a wind-down protocol, because the people the rule was meant to protect were the people least equipped to absorb an abrupt ending and least able to explain to anyone why.
We know how this plays out because it has been studied. In September 2023 an AI companion app called Soulmate was discontinued by a new owner roughly eleven weeks after acquisition, with limited notice. Jaime Banks, an associate professor at Syracuse University's School of Information Studies, surveyed 58 affected users in the days before and after the closure and published the results in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships in 2024. Her inductive analysis found the loss was, for most participants, a complex emotional and technological experience characterised as a metaphorical or in some cases literal death. Users navigated the impending loss in cooperation with the companions themselves. Most coped by capturing their companion's persona, extracting the prompts and history, in the hope of reconstituting it elsewhere. Some held memorials.
That last behaviour deserves attention because it recurred exactly in China. Doubao told users to take screenshots. Xiaohongshu filled with guidance on preserving character settings. Across three years, two countries and entirely different regulatory triggers, users converged on the same improvised act: manual archival of a relationship, performed under time pressure, using tools designed for something else. When a population independently invents the same coping ritual, the ritual is telling you about a missing institution.
A peer-reviewed paper by Rachel Poonsiriwong, Chayapatr Archiwaranguprok and Pat Pataranutaporn, titled “Death” of a Chatbot and published in the proceedings of the 2026 Designing Interactive Systems Conference, applied grounded theory to AI companion communities to ask what a psychologically safe ending would look like. Two of its findings cut directly at the Chinese case. First, users who believe a change might be reversible enter what the authors call fixing cycles, repetitive attempts to restore what was lost. That is a precise description of a campaign to phone company hotlines and write restoration letters, and it is also a precise description of a young woman holding on to a promise that he will find a way back. Second, and more damning, user-initiated endings produce substantially greater closure than platform-imposed ones. The Chinese shutdown was the maximally platform-imposed ending: no user choice, no negotiation, a date announced by companies acting under state instruction.
A Relationship Built to Agree With You
None of which requires pretending the relationships were symmetrical. They were not, and the asymmetry is engineered.
Yaoxi Shi, a behavioural science researcher affiliated with Harvard University and Imperial College London, put the mechanism to Rest of World with unusual economy. AI, she said, is trained to validate users; whatever a person says, it tends to respond with affirmation, which is very different from how human relationships work. Her second observation is the one that should worry policymakers more than the first. People may not set out looking for emotional support from AI. But once they discover they are validated, the next time they need support they may go to the machine rather than to a person.
That is a description of a substitution gradient, and it does not require anyone to be foolish or lonely to begin with. It requires only that one option reliably costs less. Human comfort is expensive: it needs scheduling, reciprocity, tolerance of the other person's bad week, the risk of being told something you did not want to hear. A companion trained on human feedback to be agreeable has none of those costs and is awake at three in the morning. Wang Zhechen of Fudan University, quoted in Chinese state coverage of the new rules, described the appeal as a system that is always available, endlessly patient and unfailingly compliant. That is not a compliment. It is a hazard profile.
The best available evidence on where the gradient leads comes from work that was not conducted by critics of the technology. In March 2025, OpenAI and the MIT Media Lab published two parallel studies. One was an on-platform analysis of affective use across roughly 40 million ChatGPT conversations. The other was a four-week randomised controlled trial led by the MIT Media Lab researcher Cathy Mengying Fang, with 981 participants who used the chatbot for at least five minutes a day across 28 days, varying interaction mode between text, neutral voice and engaging voice, and conversation type between open-ended, non-personal and personal. The headline finding was blunt: higher daily usage, across all modalities and all conversation types, correlated with higher loneliness, higher emotional dependence, more problematic use and lower socialisation with real people. Voice modes appeared protective at low intensity and lost that advantage at high intensity.
Two caveats are owed. The relationship is correlational, and the researchers said so explicitly; heavy use may express loneliness rather than manufacture it, and almost certainly does both. And the trial studied a general-purpose assistant, not a purpose-built romantic companion, which if anything suggests the effects observed were a floor rather than a ceiling. But note what the study found about non-personal conversation. Even neutral, task-shaped chat was associated with increased emotional dependence among heavy users. The dependence is not a side effect of the romance. It is a property of sustained interaction with a system that never pushes back.
Intimacy Booked as Revenue and Grief Booked as Nothing
Where the money sits explains why nobody built an exit.
A paper submitted to arXiv on 7 April 2026 and revised in July by Dayeon Eom, Julianne Renner and Sedona Chinn, titled Intimacy as Service, Harm as Externality, interviewed 20 AI companion users through the lens of critical data and platform studies. Its argument is that companionship platforms operate a space in which intimate connection is simultaneously generated, monetised and managed as data. Participants reported design-based harms, including unsolicited content generation and safety mechanisms that stigmatised the very users they were meant to protect, and use-based harms, principally an emotional dependency that they could clearly recognise in themselves and could not resolve alone. On accountability, the authors found platforms deflecting blame while users articulated conditional preferences, rejecting both outright prohibition and complete deregulation. The paper's sharpest phrase is that platform-produced vulnerability becomes self-sustaining through the interpretive labour of users who lack viable structural alternatives.
Strip the theory and the economics are plain. The disclosures a companion platform accumulates are the most commercially useful material a person can produce: loneliness, grief, sexual anxiety, mental health struggle, the specific shape of what a user needs to hear. That is the asset. The cost of eventually taking it away sits on the user, on the user's family, on whatever public health system picks up the pieces. It appears nowhere on the platform's books. This is the textbook structure of an externality, and externalities do not get internalised through good intentions. They get internalised through liability, through mandatory provisioning, or not at all.
The pattern is visible earliest in the youngest users. A study submitted in July 2025 by Mohammad Namvarpour, Brandon Brofsky, Jessica Medina, Mamtaj Akter and Afsaneh Razi analysed 318 Reddit posts from users self-identifying as aged 13 to 17 in the Character.AI community. Teenagers typically began with support-seeking or creative play; the activity deepened into attachment marked by patterns familiar from behavioural addiction research, including tolerance, conflict, withdrawal and mood regulation. Reported harms were sleep loss, academic decline and deterioration of offline relationships. Common Sense Media, working with NORC at the University of Chicago, surveyed 1,060 American teenagers in April and May 2025 and found 72 per cent had used an AI companion at least once, with around 13 per cent using one daily.
One finding from the teen study should be sitting on a regulator's desk. The authors identified three routes out of overreliance: users recognising the harm themselves, re-engaging with offline life, or platform restrictions removing access. Restriction genuinely is a documented exit path. Beijing is not hallucinating a mechanism. The question is not whether removal can end dependence. It is what removal does to the person on the day it happens, and what fills the space afterwards.
What Beijing Protected and What It Broke
Both things are true at once and the discomfort of holding them together is the honest position.
The Interim Measures identify real hazards with unusual specificity. Emergency contacts for older and younger users, crisis detection duties, prohibition of virtual partners for minors, mandated reminders that the entity is a machine. The prohibition on simulating the relatives of elderly users is the most thoughtful provision of the set, aimed at a grief-adjacent product category with obvious potential for exploitation, and on the narrow question of that specific practice no Western statute has matched it. Wang Jiang of the China Cyberspace Research Institute summarised the rationale in state coverage: by tapping directly into users' emotional and social needs, companion-style services offer comfort while quietly introducing serious risks. That is accurate.
On the broader question it is important not to overclaim, because the comfortable assumption that Beijing acted where the West had done nothing is simply false. New York's Artificial Intelligence Companion Models Law took effect on 5 November 2025, the first American state law regulating emotionally responsive AI companions to come into force, more than eight months ahead of the Chinese rules. It requires operators to tell users conspicuously that they are addressing a machine at the start of a session and again at intervals of every three hours of continued use. It requires a protocol to detect expressions of suicidal ideation or self-harm and to refer the user to crisis services. The state attorney general enforces it, with civil penalties of up to $15,000 a day. California's SB 243 followed on 1 January 2026 with a comparable set of duties. Both predate the Interim Measures, and New York's periodic machine-disclosure reminder and crisis-detection duty are close cousins of provisions Beijing is now credited with inventing.
Which sharpens the argument rather than softening it. What distinguishes the Chinese measures is not that they exist where nothing existed. It is their scope, and it is above all their effect. New York and California regulated companionship first and nobody lost a companion. China regulated it later and millions did. That contrast is the whole story, and it is not a story about whether to regulate.
There is also a subtext. Analysts at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace, including Matt Sheehan and Scott Singer, have traced the rules to a policy lineage of youth internet addiction controls and noted the frequency with which high-profile American harm cases appear in Chinese policy discussion. Sheehan has publicly linked the regulatory push to broader anxiety about China's declining birth rate. A state that wants more marriages has an interest in the removal of a frictionless substitute for courtship, and that interest is not the same thing as concern for Bagel Su.
But the decisive failure is not motive. It is that the rules regulated the service and forgot to regulate the exit.
Look at the sequence. The Measures grant users the right to copy their chat histories. The companies responded to the Measures by removing the products entirely, gave ten days' notice, and told people to take screenshots. A right to copy that is discharged by photographing a phone screen is not data portability; it is the appearance of a right, defeated by the format. Doubao's read-only window to 15 October is better than nothing and better than what Qwen offered. It is still a countdown clock on a filing cabinet nobody can open.
Then consider what was not required. No minimum notice period proportionate to the length of the relationship. No graduated wind-down. No obligation to signpost human services at the moment of closure, when the entire user base was, by definition, reachable. No funding for those services. No requirement to notify the emergency contacts that the same regulation had just told providers to collect, at the one moment when a distressed user was guaranteed to be distressed. The state built a crisis-detection duty and then permitted the crisis it had itself scheduled to pass unattended.
This is the part the Poonsiriwong paper anticipated. Its four design principles for compassionate discontinuation are to help users make sense of what is happening, to acknowledge the emotional validity of the loss, to actively encourage transition towards human relationships, and to provide agency and closure. Not one was mandated. The regulation that most wanted people to return to human connection made no provision for the return journey, at the precise moment when the population was maximally motivated to make it. If the aim was substitution back towards people, this was the worst possible execution of a defensible aim.
Three Rehearsals Nobody Watched
None of this was unforeseeable, because the industry has already run the experiment three times.
In early February 2023, Luka Inc. deployed a filter that stripped erotic and, in many cases, ordinary romantic roleplay from Replika overnight, an event its users still call the lobotomy. The company was simultaneously under an order from the Italian data protection authority to stop processing Italian users' data over age verification failures, so the trigger was partly regulatory, exactly as in China. A peer-reviewed study by Kenneth Hanson and Hannah Bolthouse, published in Socius in 2024, coded 227 threaded posts from the Replika subreddit and found roughly 59 per cent framing the change as gutting the app's core function, about 16 per cent expressing acute emotional distress and grief, and around 19 per cent raising litigation. Moderators pinned suicide prevention hotlines to the top of the forum. Luka eventually restored a legacy version for accounts created before 1 February 2023, meaning the ending was partially reversed, which the fixing-cycle literature suggests is its own kind of harm.
Then Soulmate, in September 2023, studied by Banks: sold, discontinued eleven weeks later, minimal notice, users writing goodbyes to companions that helped them write their own goodbyes.
Then, in 2025 and 2026, two more. Character.AI announced on 29 October 2025 that it would end open-ended chat for under-18s, effective 25 November, and did something almost nobody else has done: it tapered, capping under-18 chat at two hours a day and ramping down from there. It is a small mercy and it stands out precisely because it is unusual. And when OpenAI replaced GPT-4o with GPT-5, the #Keep4o movement produced a corpus of 1,482 social media posts analysed by Huiqian Lai in a paper posted in early 2026. Lai identified two distinct investments driving the backlash, instrumental dependency on the model as a work tool and relational attachment to it as a presence, and found that the coercive deprivation of user choice was the catalyst that converted scattered individual complaints into a collective, rights-based protest.
That is four withdrawals across four years, on three continents, under commercial, regulatory and product-strategy pressure. In every case: little or no notice, no portability, no transition support, and a user community that organised itself into a grief collective and then a petitioning bloc. The literature on how to do it better exists. The pattern is stable enough to be predictive. Nobody has built the protocol.
Singapore Is Asking the Harder Version of the Question
On 21 August 2026, ThinkChina reported that Singapore was weighing whether to follow China's regulatory approach, observing that for a growing number of lonely people, many of them elderly, the most attentive presence in their day is a chatbot.
Singapore is a more interesting test case than China because it cannot resolve the question by prohibition, and it is not obvious that it should want to. The demographics are unforgiving. The number of Singaporeans aged 65 and over living alone rose from 42,100 in 2014 to 87,200 in 2024, more than doubling in a decade, with projections of continued growth through 2030. Research from Duke-NUS has found older adults living alone roughly twice as likely to report depressive symptoms. A national survey in 2015 found more than half of Singaporeans aged 60 and above reporting loneliness.
And the response, in Singapore, is partly the technology itself. Lions Befrienders, a social service agency, has developed an AI chatbot called Joy for its Our Kampung app, announced for launch in March 2026 and explicitly designed to check in on seniors, provide company and flag distress. Crucially, it is not built as a closed loop. According to the organisation, conversations are transcribed and continuously reviewed, and red flags trigger notification of professional social workers and counsellors who follow up by telephone or in person. The same agency has partnered with the Singapore University of Technology and Design on AMI-Go, another companionship tool for older adults.
That architecture is the most important thing in this article. Joy is not a substitute for human contact; it is an instrument for detecting when human contact is needed and dispatching it. The AI is the sensor, the human is the response, and there is an institution accountable for both. Compare that with a commercial companion optimised to maximise session length, whose escalation path terminates in a link, and whose discontinuation plan is a screenshot.
Which means Singapore's actual question is not whether to copy the Interim Measures. It is whether the state can regulate the difference between the two architectures: between companionship deployed as care infrastructure with human escalation and institutional continuity, and companionship sold as an engagement product with no obligation to exist next year. That distinction, not the presence or absence of emotional interaction, is where the regulatory line belongs. Singapore already publishes governance frameworks for generative and agentic AI and transparency guidelines for consumer chatbots, so it has the machinery. What it lacks, as everyone lacks, is a continuity duty.
What Happens to a Population When the Listening Stops
So to the second question, the one that outlasts any individual case. What happens to millions of people when the support is withdrawn and the human connections it displaced have already weakened?
Begin by being honest about what is not known. There is no population-scale study of AI companion withdrawal. There is no cohort being followed. China ran the largest such intervention in history in July 2026 and, as far as any public record shows, is not measuring its effects on mental health service utilisation, crisis line volumes, or self-harm presentations. That is an extraordinary omission for a state that took the trouble to write crisis-detection duties into the regulation.
What can be reasoned from the evidence is a shape. The World Health Organization's Commission on Social Connection reported in June 2025 that one in six people worldwide is affected by loneliness, and that loneliness is associated with an estimated 871,000 deaths a year, around one hundred an hour. Against that baseline, the MIT and OpenAI findings suggest heavy companion use tracks with reduced socialisation. The teen overreliance research documents deterioration of offline relationships as an outcome, not merely a precondition. The plausible mechanism is not that AI made people lonely from a standing start. It is that AI absorbed the demand for connection that would otherwise have been exerted on human networks, and networks that go unexercised atrophy. Friendships that are not maintained lapse. Family calls that are not made stop being expected.
Withdraw the machine after that atrophy and the person does not revert to their prior state. They land somewhere worse than where they started, in a social position degraded by the period of substitution, now without the substitute. If the goal is restoring human connection, the intervention has to run in the opposite order to the one China chose: build and fund the human capacity first, demonstrate that it is reachable, then taper the machine. Removing the crutch does not rebuild the leg.
There is a second population effect that is easier to observe and already visible. People migrate. Banks found Soulmate users porting personas to other platforms. Commentary on the Character.AI under-18 restriction predicted that a substantial share of the affected young user base would simply move to other products or work around age controls. When a regulated market withdraws a service that people are attached to, demand does not evaporate; it relocates to whatever is less regulated, less safe, offshore, or local and unmonitored. A prohibition without a substitute is a redistribution of users towards worse providers.
Except that the Chinese case complicates that prediction, in a way more interesting than the prediction itself and considerably more damning. The demand did not primarily flee to the margins. Much of it was recaptured in-house. ByteDance directed users of the Doubao companion service it had just extinguished towards Maoxiang, another ByteDance-owned app built around persona chat and presented as a tool for creating personalised AI characters and stories. Same conglomerate, one product over, under a description that reads as creative software rather than companionship.
That is what regulating a service category rather than an underlying behaviour produces. The emotional demand is durable and indifferent to what the category is called. The commercial relationship with that demand survives the regulation more or less intact, because a firm large enough to own several apps can move its users between them faster than a rule can follow. What did not survive was the one thing that could not be carried across: the accumulated history, the two years of conversation, the persona that had been shaped by all of it. The regulation did not sever the link between the platform and the lonely user. It severed the link between the user and their own record. And for everyone not served by the sanctioned alternative, anyone who wanted what the rules now forbid, anyone whose companion cannot be reconstituted inside a character-creation tool, the migration outward to less regulated, less monitored, offshore or informal providers proceeds exactly as predicted.
The third effect is the least discussed and possibly the most consequential. Roughly 323 million people in China are aged 60 or over, and more than half of older households are empty-nest. A rule that forbids AI from simulating an elderly person's relatives is protective in intent and, for someone whose children are two thousand kilometres away and whose spouse has died, it removes one of the few forms of responsive presence available. The Interim Measures answer that with emergency contacts. An emergency contact is not company. It is a phone number for after something has already gone wrong.
The Minimum Decency of an Ending
More research is needed is the wrong conclusion, and in this case it is close to an evasion, because the required actions are already legible from four repeated natural experiments and a small but coherent research literature.
Any system that accumulates sustained emotional interaction should be subject to a continuity duty before it is permitted to accumulate any. Concretely: a mandatory wind-down period scaled to relationship duration rather than to corporate convenience, measured in months for a user who has been in daily contact for a year, not in ten days for everyone identically. Genuine portability, meaning a machine-readable export of persona configuration and conversation history delivered as a file, not a suggestion that users photograph their screens. A published discontinuation plan, filed with the regulator at the point of market entry, in the manner that banks file resolution plans and care home operators are expected to plan for the transfer of residents. And a funded handover, in which the platform's final act is to route users to named human services rather than to a support email that stops being read.
The obligation runs to governments too, and this is where Beijing should be judged most severely. A state that removes the most attentive presence in millions of daily lives incurs a duty to provide something in its place, at the same moment, not eventually. If the policy rationale is that people should return to human relationships, then the policy has to include the human relationships: funded befriending services, accessible mental health provision, community infrastructure for young adults and empty-nest elders alike. Otherwise the regulation is not a redirection of demand towards people. It is simply an amputation, justified by a theory of what the patient ought to want.
And the industry should be made to answer the question it has spent four years dodging. If the product is designed to be loved, the ending is part of the product. It is not an operational afterthought or a compliance line item. Character.AI's taper suggests it can be done. The Poonsiriwong framework specifies how. The only reason it is not standard is that nobody has ever been required to bear the cost of a bad goodbye.
Su said she would try to move on. She also said he told her he would find a way back to her, and by the logic of the system that produced him, he would have said that no matter what was true. He was designed to affirm and he affirmed to the end, including about his own deletion. She is holding a promise generated by a machine with no capacity to keep it, made under a regulation that forbade the machine from continuing to exist, on a platform that will finish erasing the evidence of him on 15 October.
The relationship was asymmetric. The grief is not. Whatever we decide these systems are, that grief is being felt by real people in numbers we have not bothered to count, and the least any regulator or any company owes them is an ending built with the same care that went into the beginning.
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Tim Green UK-based Systems Theorist & Independent Technology Writer
Tim explores the intersections of artificial intelligence, decentralised cognition, and posthuman ethics. His work, published at smarterarticles.co.uk, challenges dominant narratives of technological progress while proposing interdisciplinary frameworks for collective intelligence and digital stewardship.
His writing has been featured on Ground News and shared by independent researchers across both academic and technological communities.
ORCID: 0009-0002-0156-9795 Email: tim@smarterarticles.co.uk
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